DANSE MACABRE LAURELL K HAMILTON PDF

Danse Macabre: An Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Novel and millions of other books are available for instant access. view Kindle eBook | view Audible audiobook. Danse Macabre [Laurell K. Hamilton, Cynthia Holloway] on *FREE * shipping on qualifying offers. It was the middle of November. I was supposed. Danse Macabre [Laurell K. Hamilton] on *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Fans have been waiting to sink their fangs into an all-new Anita .

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Open Preview See a Problem? Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Preview — Danse Macabre by Laurell K. And, if she is, whether the father is a vampire, a werewolf, or someone else entirely, he knows perfectly well that being a Federal Marshal known for raisi Also see: And, if she is, whether the father is a vampire, a werewolf, or someone else entirely, he knows perfectly well that being a Federal Marshal known for raising the dead and being a vampire executioner, is no way to bring up a baby.

Mass Market Paperbackpages. Published March 27th by Jove first published Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about Danse Macabreplease sign up. Does the Anita Blake series ever get better? Or return to it’s origins? Anya Babko Not really. My favorites are still books 1, 2, 6 and 9. Lately, every second or third book it seems is worth reading, because the others are just …more Not really.

Lately, every second or third book it seems is worth reading, because the others are just Anita screwing everyone and everything she can get her hands on. Or, she’s fighting with her lovers or strangers about screwing everything and everyone. The author Laurell K Hamilton is very sensitive and really likes her characters arguing about pretty much anything.

In my opinion, every book with Edward in it is good Also the ones without Jean Claude and Richard in it. That’s when LKH dives into story writing and plots for real, and not just a bunch of bumping uglies.

If you want some advice, read up on the books beforehand and pick the ones with actual story in it because they truly are worth reading! See 2 questions about Danse Macabre…. Lists with This Book. If you have ever considered reading the Anita Blake series up to this point, let me save you a bit of time, trouble, and heartache by giving you a plot synopsis of this book. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil anything nor will I get into so much detail that it will be ruined.

No, really, this book HAS no plot. The blurb burbles about a vampire ballet, hints at a pregnancy for Anita, and dances around the topic of the ardeur, but nothing happens in this book. OK, n If you have ever considered reading the Anita Blake series up to this point, let me save you a bit of time, trouble, and heartache by giving you a plot synopsis of this book. OK, no, I’m wrong. Stuff does happen in this book. Metaphysical date rape sex that is used to power up individuals like a video game.

Evil overly sexualized, pyschotic b! Petty fights over the resident Mary Sue. Talking about brand-new character’s backstories while characters are in the nude or have just come out of the bath.

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Bad guys who do bad guy hsmilton like talk about how much of a bad guy they are. Talking about who should have sex with whom, when, where, why, and how, and whether that makes you a slut or not. Having sex with two new men “because the ardeur says so” when you already have six current boyfriends.

And everyone minus the “unreasonable” Richard is totes OK with being naked around all 6 men, being observed while having sex by all 6 men, or even being a part of a menage a trois with all 6 men. It’s plotless, pointless, stupid, and insulting. Anita Sue remains the most unlikeable, worst protagonist I’ve read. She’s rude to her friend, she’s a hypocrite, she’s demanding, she’s sexist, she’s a misogynist, she has a chip on her shoulder the size of Texas. We spend nearly the entire first chapter Anita Sue whinging about her pregnancy to Ronnie, when all she needs to do is take 5 minutes out of her oh-so hectic day between screwing every male in sight to get a pregnancy test.

When Ronnie tries to talk about her feelings about Louis moving in and how she isn’t sure she likes it, Anita Sue makes sure to let Ronnie know how inconvenient it is to talk about something other than Anita Sue’s problems I’ve got a really nice quote from her about Ronnie’s “penis envy” that you can see in my early updates. And she tells her “friend” that A Ronnie is just a jealous meanie who only wants to land in Nathaniel’s pants and B Ronnie ought to get some therapy.

Because Ronnie is silly for not wanting to commit to Louis – even though Anita won’t commit to any of her 7 men and has no intentions of doing so. Here lies Veronia “Ronnie” Sims, a once great character massacred by the hatred and vitriol of Laurell K.

Danse Macabre

Hamilton and her author avatar, Anita Sue. May she forever rest in peace. Anita demands monogamy from her men, but she is allowed to sleep with whomever she wants.

If one of the men gets mad like Richard who is sleeping around himselfhe is the one shown to be unreasonable. God Forbid Richard sleep with multiple other women, even though Anita Sue is doing the very same thing with her 7 men. Anita Sue also continues to hate on women, slut-shaming the mistress of the Master of the City of Chicago because “she’s a real whore” and insulting her intelligence by agreeing she couldn’t see Augie having a scintillating conversation with her.

And any woman that isn’t as masculine as she is is automatically evil – Thea, Meng Die, etc.

The exponentially growing cast composed almost entirely of males might as well be all the same person, given how little there is to distinguish them. Richard yells at Anita; Asher whines about not being fulfilled; Nathaniel is a doormat except when he isn’t ; Jason makes lewd comments. Other than a couple of words, it’s impossible to tell anyone apart! Gone is Anita’s “day job”. Gone are Zerbrowski, Dolph, Burt, or hamipton resembling her “normal life”.

Instead of zombie raisings and at least an attempt at a paranormal mystery, we have lots and lots of ha,ilton politics and new stupid rules, with Anita Sue constantly asking what is going on or for someone to explain something to her because she can’t put two and two together. It’s astonishing how little Jean-Claude, the man who has lived with the ardeur for HUNDREDS of years, knows about the damned thing; every time we turn around, Anita Sue uncovers some new plot device that changes the ardeur into a new brand of metaphysical date rape drug.

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And don’t be misled; these sexual encounters are by and large NOT consensual. Anita Sue doesn’t want to have sex with Augie and Jean-Claude because that turns her on; no, of course not! We can’t have a thing like pesky female sexuality! Only afterwards does she think she likes it. The dxnse for the scene with the hamlton Interchangeable Male Genitalia added to her harem. The same for the menage a trois with Nathaniel and Jason. The same for sex with Asher.

They are ahmilton because someone needs to be healed or that stupid Damien must be saved – the number of times Anita Sue has to maabre sex to save that stupid vampire is ridiculous!

It’s never because Anita Sue sees a guy and goes, “Hot dayum, I want that man on me now” and then gets permission to go ahead and do that. Do not even get me started on the “pregnancy” thing or the “vampire ballet”.

Those “plots” are laughable. In one of the earlier Anita Sue books, they wouldn’t have made even tertiary plots; in this book, they are supposed to carry the story. Both are done terribly; both are disappointing and a waste of time. In some ways what makes this worse is LKH’s atrocious writing.

Danse Macabre by Laurell K. Hamilton

Let me share some of the gems I found: The green shirt brought out more of the green, so his eyes were almost an olive green. But they were definitely hazel, not true green. But then I had high standards for true green eyes. Samuel’s eyes were just eyes. I can’t afford the luxury of self-doubt. I needed to know. One way I the other, I needed to know.

What I didn’t know was Tie me laurel and let me drown in your sweet flesh. Cold down to the core of my being, as if I’d never be warm again. The look on his face made me look where he was looking. I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand her. Her voice hamiltln grating, she reads all the sex scenes in this ridiculously cheesy “porn star” breathy voice, and she cannot do an accent to save her life.

Jean-Claude doesn’t sound French in the slightest; London wavered between the most cliched “British” accent to country-western to faux-French. And most of the rest of the cast pretty much sounded exactly like each other – which maybe, considering how interchangeable the cast is, was a stroke of brilliance.

I am surprised that this book ever sold, in hardcover, in paperback, or at all well, I do get how fans might be duped into buying this – and for those of you fans who paid for hardcover for this, I am so sorry!

This book is pure torture.

Did fans really dajse another plotless mess of a book that spent most of its time talking about sex and vampire political minutiae? Were fans begging for Anita Sue to do fewer zombie raisings and spend more time in her underwear or completely undressed having conversations about conversations about conversations?